Lesson 10: Delicate mind

Playing with sophisticated people is very enjoyable, because it means playing with intelligent and sensitive people. Subtle people always see the little things in other people, in everything. The subtle mind, largely innate, is naturally born with subtle intelligence. A preschool child with a bright face, knowing how to observe the crowd to react appropriately, for example, it knows how to hold fast, not da-bian (ta ben in Chinese is poop) when its parents are eating rice is 1 delicate child. Subtle, roughly is walking clogs in the belly. What do you think, I know it all. Withdraw when showing signs of need to withdraw. Go forward, turn left and turn right when the light is green.

Viewing: What is sophistication

But the important question is, can the subtle mind be trained. The answer is yes. Why is it important to train every child in sophistication? Because of its future. Whether you are an engineer or a doctor, a teacher or a worker, communication is the key to success. For example, as a worker, if you have the ability to observe, guide others to follow, read the leader’s mind, etc., the ability to be a team leader, sub-group leader or factory manager is very high. No one promoted the chubby kid, ate first and sat first, didn’t look or look… The only sight you could see was a plate of pork in front of you, you would lose.

People who work in economics, the more they need to focus on training this skill. Communicating in business a lot, the subtlety will help them always get what they want. And to be subtle, one must sum up two things: love people, and focus when talking.

1. Love people.

Kindness, benevolence is human, charity is love. Kindness is love for people, that’s all. If you look at the opposite person with indifferent, lifeless eyes, look at the delicate Tony like that, but it’s like looking at the sidewalk, well, it can’t be trained. Only when we truly and naturally love someone, and when we look at everyone, we also find the beauty of that person, we can be subtle.

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People who are less sophisticated play very boring, because they have to say it out loud to understand. New request. He is the type of person who is heartless and poor in communication. Living with or working with them, I am very tired because I feel they are a bit stupid. The characteristic of this group is that they are not observant, do as they please, do not think about others. People speak well, remind well, have some gestures that imply this and that… they look as indifferent as crab eyes, often say “I’ll have to tell you if I don’t know…”, or “Speak it’s itchy, I’ll scratch it for you” . Oh my god, Asian people, embarrassed to see their graves, few dare to say they are too horse….but look forward to scratching.

For example: a person comes to visit me, it’s hot in the sun, and his lips are burning with thirst. I rushed in and talked for 3 hours straight, forgetting to pour a glass of water for them is not subtle.

Another example, going with a group of people, I was busy talking to 1-2 people privately, the rest couldn’t join because they didn’t know the topic, didn’t seem interested in that story, I kept on talking. Sports say people are less sophisticated.

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A child wants to eat but doesn’t dare, I looked at his eyes and recognized it right away. I love it and let it eat. But the alley has to sit and eat well, squeaky chew, spit out 2 corners of the mouth, release bones to fill the table, whoever wants to wear it. Looking at the mouth it chews and wants to slap one to break its teeth.

Many people go into public places and speak loudly as if there were no people. The day my uncle sat working at coffee, the 3 girls next to him told love stories, screaming like punches in the ear. Everyone looked annoyed, some moved the table, some charged and hurried away…but the three girls were still talking. My uncle just came over to say 3 friends, please adjust the volume just enough to hear, just now the love triangle between Ms. Tuyet and Mr. Binh and Han, I have heard all of it. Then the matter of her clothes and clothes, whatever size, the guests here know well. Uncle suggested so cute, but those 3 girls said to call the gangsters and ran over to him… What’s wrong? Why?

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The more I love people, love nature, love beauty, ….the higher the sophistication. Subtlety is not found in the type of person who loves money above everything else, the worldly type. The mundane genre never reads books, it’s cool to see a lot of words, so it’s easy to recognize. Watching sad plays is never sad, because there is no empathy. So the soul withered, leading to rudeness, blasphemy, not knowing what to say when to whom.

2. Focus when talking:

Second, if you want to be subtle, you have to focus when you talk. Who to talk to, focus on the person talking and the STORY talking. Don’t talk while looking at the clock, talk and calculate what to buy tomorrow at the market…

Pay attention to listening. Listening is 80% of communication. Listen with your heart, listen with a desire to share and empathize, listen as a facilitator. Put yourself in the speaker’s shoes, fully understanding them. It sounds like swallowing every word.

Look at the other person. Looking is 10% of communication. Looking directly at him, his eyes were gentle and warm, not glaring like he was eating people alive. Don’t look up at the ceiling, look down table… Don’t talk with your eyes on the street, or glance at the TV screen. Looking at the person who is speaking will help you hear more clearly and correctly. Seeing is listening to body language, reading people’s delicate gestures, then analyzing and processing.

And speaking is the remaining 10% of communication. When you speak, please speak clearly. If I can’t speak well, practice speaking correctly first. Speak clearly, concisely, and easily understand an issue, because the purpose of speaking is to let people know what’s in your head, don’t let people see in your head is a bunch of ideas, so talk it’s just so messy. If you don’t speak well, just say it clearly according to the ideas, meaning 1 is, meaning 2 is, in short…, don’t imitate the MC-style roundabout on TV. I should choose positive words, sympathy, thanks, praise…. Use the function of reducing speech to avoid sensitive issues, such as underarm odor, in public places with a lot of people, picking your nose, squeezing pimples, taking toothpicks, taking your feet out of your shoes, smoking in your mouth rotten mouth without chewing gum…don’t say it like you said earlier, they’ll get mad and they’ll kill you.

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However, except for the less subtle genre, you have to shout it out to understand. Like in China, even in big hotels or airports, going to the public toilet is a torture for civilized people. Chinese men are not instructed to go to the toilet immediately with xiao-bian, so they keep splashing out, yellow on the sides of the tub, wet on the floor, and a strong stench. So the Chinese people are embarrassed with international friends after the Beijing Olympics, so they stick on the toilets things like “one step closer to the toilet – one step towards civilization” or “you stand close, that’s it Yours isn’t as long as you think..” but alleys work. Dirty is still completely dirty because this genre is not educated by the family since childhood, so it doesn’t pay much attention. So now people correct it, clearly stating “urinate straight into the sink, don’t wet the floor, don’t throw cigarettes in, don’t spit here, don’t take your feet out of your shoes on bus or plane , or in public, ask to speak softly and smile gracefully..” because it’s too subtle. And specify the penalty.

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In short, love people and focus when talking, you will become a delicate person. And subtlety is the number one advantage in communication and diplomacy. Just keep practicing, you’ll get it.